Typically, one of the first questions we receive at Word Fellowship is, “What do you have for the kids?” When they come to understand that we lean toward a family-integrated church model, most fail to return. I believe that the average parent has been conditioned to think that it is someone else’s responsibility to “train up a child in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6). The task usually falls to the youth pastor, an associated youth group, or “children’s church.” This often will bring much-needed relief to the parent who desires an hour of peace on Sundays.
Sadly, the prevalent model has borne little fruit over the past several decades. Some research indicates that even in the most conservative churches, upwards to 80% of the children are “long gone” by the time they reach college age. We seem to have lost an entire generation to pizza parties, giveaways, and “lock-ins.” Like the culture at large, our Christian kids have been coddled and entertained to death.
Interestingly there is no such youth model in the Scriptures. Mothers and fathers were intimately involved with their children’s upbringing (Deuteronomy 6:7), and families remained intact for the worship service. During this time, the youngsters observed their parent’s active involvement in worship, singing, giving, serving, and the study of the Bible. This special hour of the week should be one of excitement, reverence, and joy rather than segregating the children into public school-style classrooms.
But how will they learn if they are not given age-appropriate education? I believe this question is relatively baseless. I maintain that kids love being with their family in the church environment. I recently asked two of my grandsons where they would rather be, in an age-related classroom or worshipping with their folks. They quickly agreed that they would rather be with their family. The Sunday service can be a seedbed of learning. They can ask mom or dad when they are not clear on what the pastor said. This can spur discussion in the car or at the lunch table rather than having their faces buried in their phones or iPads. What a novel idea! (sarcasm intended).
No doubt, the family-integrated model demands commitment. Commitment from the pastor, leadership, and especially parents. Nurseries may be appropriate for children under 3 years of age, but you would be surprised what they can absorb once they are school-age. Some parents are worried that their children will disturb the pastor’s message. Don’t worry, I can preach louder!
We believe that it is time for a spiritual investment to be made in this area. A Christian foundation is vital to their survival in an unbelieving world. Our kids need to learn how to experience Christ-centered worship and training, and the family-integrated approach can be a key component to this objective.
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